3 Things I Learned in My 3 Years At SDSU

Recently, my mom and I were talking about how I felt completely burnt out from school, the pandemic, and everything else going wrong in the world. I jokingly told my mom that I was just going to drop out of school because I couldn’t do it anymore, and her response honestly made me stop dead in my tracks. She didn’t say anything crazy or super insightful like a wise owl, but instead, she just replied, “Well, just look at it this way: you only have to make it around 10 more weeks until you graduate.” You may be thinking, “I don’t get why this is so Earth-shattering to you,” and you know what, I’m not sure why it freaked me out so much. I think the scariest part of graduating is the next chapter. School has been a straight path my whole life that didn’t offer a whole lot of wiggle room. Other than choosing a major, and a university, and a school, my path in it has largely been decided for me my whole life. Even though we can choose our majors, there is still a checklist of classes we have to complete before we can graduate. When we graduate, we are completely starting anew. We can choose to go into an industry that caters to our major, or not. We can choose to get a full-time job, or not. We can choose to work at all, or not. Until I land a job after graduation, this will be the first time in my life that I have no structure in my life, but with adult privileges. So in this post, I want to reflect on what I have learned in my time at San Diego State University... but first, some backstory and context!

My name is Michelle Kuraoka and I am a senior at San Diego State University. I am majoring in Marketing with a specialization in Integrated Marketing Communications (IMC). I graduated high school in 2018 from Trabuco Hills High School in Mission Viejo, CA. I am graduating from SDSU in 3 years because I came in with a lot of college credits from AP Tests and other college courses I took through my local community colleges while I was in high school. During my time at SDSU, I also took multiple summer courses each year and even took a few winter courses. I was never not busy at SDSU. So while my time at SDSU may be shorter than some of you, I want to share what I learned outside of the classroom. These topics aren’t going to be the typical “Drink water!” tips, but, more so, what I wish someone would have told me when I was going into college. I realize this is a little late — since if you are reading this, you likely are already in college —  but... I am trying my best. :) 

It’s ok to not meet your “life-long” friends like your parents did.

Unfortunately, during my senior year of high school, my friend group completely imploded… and I’m talking imploded. Things got really toxic and something that really kept me going was thinking “well it’s ok because I will meet my life-long, forever best friends when I get to college.” I just assumed that I would have an abundance of friends and it would be just like in the movies where the main character has a whole network of friends. Well, imagine the rude awakening I had when I realized I am 2 months away from graduating and I have, like, 2 friends from college… for a grand total of 4 friends! However, what I will say is that these few friends that I have are more supportive, understanding, loving, and least toxic friends I have probably ever had. I think the hardest part for me was just coming to actually accept that you don’t need to have a large group of “friends” like most people do in high school. College is really a time to start focusing on your well-being as an adult and not hold onto relationships with people just to have a relationship with them. 

It’s ok to not stay the same weight you were in high school.

We’ve all heard of the dreaded “Freshman 15”...well I definitely didn’t only gain 15 lbs. Sure, I was walking a lot because of classes—not to mention that I had to endure the far walk from UT—but I still was struggling with feeling comfortable in my body. I have always struggled with my body image, but coming to SDSU where everyone seems to be perfectly put together at all times of the day, was a real struggle for me. From living on my own for the first time, not having a ton of friends, being on a meal plan, struggling with my mental health, and having a bad living situation in the dorms, I was at a pretty low point. I didn’t eat a lot of food in a day, but what I did eat was complete junk food, and since I didn’t eat a lot, I really damaged my metabolism. When I continued to not look the way I want, it just made my mental health worse and started a vicious cycle. Now I’m not saying that I have it all figured out now or that I am skinnier and happier than ever, but I am trying to learn how to come to accept how I look now. Within the past year, I have made an effort to unfollow people on social media that make me feel inferior every time they post. Instead, I have made an effort to follow more body-positive accounts and teach myself how to compliment people on things that don’t involve their looks. Another thing I try to remind myself is that you were a literal child in high school. It is completely ok, normal, and expected that your body will grow and change with you as you grow and change as a person. 

I highly suggest you find someone to hype you up, and if you need someone, I’m always available for hyping services. :)

It’s ok to struggle in an “easy course”.

“Easy” courses may be your best friend when it comes to a quick GPA boost, but if you find an “easy” class to not be so easy, there’s no shame in that. Something that I really struggle with is not defining my intelligence and capability on my academic achievements. This mindset makes it especially hard when I don’t do stellar in an “easy” course that is deemed as an “easy A” by a lot of people. That feeling of not only struggling in a course, but struggling in one that others call easy? That’s a whole new level of discouraging, and I know it well. What I am still trying to unlearn myself is that “easy” is so subjective. I don’t care if the class is one short discussion board post a week, that can be really challenging for some people to find the right words to describe what they are thinking. The math class may be just 10 addition problems, but others may have such an active mind that it’s hard to slow down and go back to the basics. There are so many nuances to what make you you, that you may not even know all of them. We can’t be so hard on ourselves for not knowing everything about everything when we don’t even know everything about ourselves. 

I realize this was not a light, feel-good read about using Rate My Professor or sticking to a workout routine, but I wanted to make a post that I thought could benefit people that may be struggling with what I was/am struggling with. I think college is sometimes romanticized to be the most freeing, memorable, and most golden time in your life and that if you don’t go out and party every night, you aren’t getting the “full college experience,” but I don’t think that’s a fair assessment. I thought everyone was having the best time in college until one day I was talking to some people I went to high school with and they mentioned how they were at their lowest that first year. That really helped me to finally understand that social media really is the biggest mask. If you’re struggling with college, I am too. I wish I was able to give you better advice than “lol me too,” but I think with my limited capabilities, the best I can do is to let you know that you are not the only one struggling in this landscape. College can be very isolating, and this is me sending you a paper airplane with a note that says “You’re not alone. Your track record for overcoming bad days is undefeated, so keep going.”

By Michelle Kuraoka